MARIO KIEFER

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: Do you know what day it is? ME:  The 20th? RIC: No; well, yeah, but I mean the DAY. ME: Sunday? RIC:...

RIC:  How was work? ME:  It’s been a bear all week — so very busy I haven’t even had time for a cup of coffee. RIC: Ugh.  Well, did you...

Dear Santa, I know that my letter this year is a little late since Christmas is only one week away now. I apologize for my tardiness....

America is an idea. She is the belief that “all men are created equal”. She is the tenet that “they are endowed by their Creator with...

And this is why Ric drinks . . . RIC: We are having spaghetti tonight, right? ME: Well . . . RIC: You haven’t made spaghetti for me in a...

It's not Sunday, but . . . RIC: I'm tired of eating out. Let’s cook in. ME: Ok. RIC: Let’s have Alfredo. ME: Yum. RIC: What time do you...

3:00 AM I awaken and rise. As I shuffle through the bathroom door, from the corner of my eye I see a flash of light. Out of habit I...

We’ve all had those dreams. You know the ones; the dreams that seem so brilliant when you wake in the middle night that you want to...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: Where’s my spaghetti? ME: We went to brunch and had mimosas. RIC: So? ME: I am just not hungry - and a...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: It’s New Years! ME: Why bother discussing it. Just open the wine.

And this is why I drink . . . [FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30] RIC: Do we have any plans? ME: Just that NYE party tomorrow night. RIC: What about...

DAWG: I smell eggs. Gimme! ME: You already had your breakfast. This is mine. DAWG: I smell potatoes. Gimme! ME: You already had your...

[DECEMBER 03] ME: Here is the Christmas menu that I planned. What do you think? RIC: Perfect! ME: Great. I will make the shopping list....

[Me walking to front door] DAWG: Where you going? Where you going? Where you going? ME: I'll be right back. DAWG: Can I come? Please? Let...

DAWG: Wake up! ME: I'm getting up. DAWG: Hurry. Let me out. ME: I'm getting up. DAWG: What's taking so long? ME: I'm getting up. DAWG:...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: It’s the day before Halloween. ME: We call that Devil’s Night. RIC: We should definitely do something...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: It’s a lovely wedding, right? ME: It is. I am so happy for the couple. RIC: What time are they serving...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: I was thinking of making French toast for breakfast this morning. ME: That sounds great. RIC: But we...

DAWG: Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. ME: Fine. I’m awake. DAWG: Let me out. Let me out. ME: Hold on. I gotta pee first. DAWG:...

And this is why I drink . . . RIC: Good morning. ME: Good morning and Happy Birthday! RIC: Thank you. ME: For your birthday, I planned a...