MARIO KIEFER

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! While everybody else is talking about their bucket lists, all I have is a f*ck-it list. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I couldn’t find baby formula at the store and now my baby won’t rise. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Don’t tell me not to cry! Nobody knows where Johnny has gone and Judy left the same time. And why...

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! People say I got a drinking problem, but I got no problem drinking at all! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I already broke my resolution not to make resolutions! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My waistline is increasing at a rate greater than inflation! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I went looking for Santa’s elves online, but all I found were Beelzebub’s trolls! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! My letter to Santa came back marked “Return to Sender.” #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Everybody has lost their minds but nobody is searching for them. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! I asked for wild turkey for Thanksgiving but I got Buckhorn whiskey instead! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Somebody said “hello” to me. Don’t they realize that hello has the word “hell” in it? #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Last night little monsters kept coming to my house and extorting candy from me! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! The woods are quiet and dark at night! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Not matter bad it is, Halloween never ends. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Somebody asked me if I was outraged! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Despite having spent thousands of dollars for the gate to hold off those barbarians, Conan O’Brien...

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Stop calling those mice blind! They knew what they were doing. #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Mary had a little lamb but did not invite me to dinner! #OutrageTuesday

I am outraged! Absolutely outraged! Evil cartels are smuggling pumpkin spice across our borders. It has now been found in every community...