It’s a Dog’s Life . . .
DOG: [With nose under edge of sofa] Aaarf. Whine. Whimper.
ME: What’s up? What’s wrong?
DOG: My toy is under the sofa and I can’t get to it.
ME: Okay, I’ll get it.
ME: [Hits pause on movie; gets down on all fours; reaches under sofa; pulls out toy and gives it to dog.]
ME: [Smiling at dog.] There you go, sweetie.
ME: [Grunts from sore back while listening to cracking knees. Sits back on sofa and hits play on movie.]
DOG: [With nose under edge of sofa] Aaarf. Whine. Whimper.
ME: Did you push it under there again?
DOG: Yes. I’m sorry.
ME: Okay, I’ll get it.
ME: [Hits pause on movie; gets down on all fours; reaches under sofa; pulls out toy and gives it to dog.]
ME: [Pats dog on head.] There you go.
ME: [Grunts from sore back while listening to cracking knees. Mutters: “I’m getting too old for this shit.” Sits back on sofa and hits play on movie.]
DOG: [With nose under edge of sofa] Aaarf. Whine. Whimper.
ME: Again? Look, this is the last time. If you push it under the sofa again, I am not going to get it for you. You need to play more responsibly.
ME: [Hits pause on movie; gets down on all fours; reaches under sofa; pulls out toy and gives it to dog.]
ME: There you go. This is the last time.
ME: [Grunts from sore back while listening to cracking knees. Mutters: “I’m getting too old for this shit.” Sits back on sofa and hits play on movie. Realizes missed an important scene and dialogue. Restarts movie from where it was paused the first time.]
DOG: [With nose under edge of sofa] Aaarf. Whine. Whimper.
ME: You’re just doing this to mess with me now, aren’t you. ou like seeing me get up and down, don’t you.
DOG: [Lets out evil laugh.]
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