Keep-Away

It’s a Dog’s Life . . .

ME: Would you please explain to me why when you push your toy into the corner, you whine and won’t get it yourself?

DOG:  Because it’s next to that bench and that bench is in my way.

ME:   There’s plenty of room for you.

DOG: But the bench . . .

ME:   Okay. Please explain why when you push your toy under the bed you whine and will not get it?

DOG: The bedskirt is in the way.

ME:   It’s just a skirt.

DOG: But it’s in the way.

ME:   Okay. Would you please explain why you sit in front of your toy box and whine instead of reaching in and getting a toy yourself?

DOG: The lip is too high. It’s in the way.

ME:   It’s not too high.

DOG: But it’s in the way.

ME:   So then, explain to me why you can open the cupboard door, reach over the stuff in front of that shoe rack, reach behind the blanket that is folded and stored there in order to get my sandal off of the second shelf?

DOG: Well, I need your shoe to play keep-away.

ME: Open the wine.